R.I.P, New Girl.

Dear blog,

I'm sorry I haven't been writing. It's because I've been in mourning. See, this year, my favourite television show started to suck, and it created a void in the very depths of my soul. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep.

Okay, it wasn't that bad, but I sure as hell couldn't sit through an episode of New Girl anymore. What happened to this show? Did any other ladies out there feel like they were personally punched in the gut by Zooey Deschanel after sitting through a handful of episodes this season? And, I mean, I tried. I really, really tried! I kept watching, week after torturous week, thinking, this is the episode that redeems this show! But no. That episode never came.

The last straw for me was last week's episode, in which Jess, a career-minded woman in her thirties with babies on the brain, is too nervous to spend a romantic weekend alone with her hot doctor boyfriend, so she invites Nick and his stripper girlfriend to tag along. Can't reconcile why an adult woman would do such a thing? Who cares? It doesn't have to make sense! Just laugh along as the gang swings hunting rifles around with wanton abandon, sees the green fairy after basically just inhaling the vapours from a bottle of absinthe, and rehashes a recent plot from How I Met Your Mother! Oh, but let's not forget the incredibly racist, throwaway subplot between Schmidt and Winston, wherein Schmidt decides that Winston is suffering from a lack of other black people in his life, and, naturally, they end up on the streets trying to score some crack. Hi-larious.

In season one, there was a great scene between Jess and Nick's lawyer girlfriend, Julia, where Jess goes on a tirade about how caring about baby animals and wearing a lot of polka dots doesn't mean that she's "not smart, and tough, and strong". I was basically on my feet applauding after that, because I like a lot of twee stuff too, and it bothers me that the world can't wrap its head around a woman who's both girlish and intelligent. Liking polka dot dresses doesn't mean you're stupid. You know what does mean you're stupid, though? Swinging a loaded hunting rifle around for no apparent reason. Also, insinuating that all black people like the same things, including crack cocaine.

So, yeah... as far as I'm concerned, that episode was the series finale. Sad trombone, Nick and Jess never got together.

Thank Maude for Lena Dunham, is the only other thing I have to say.


Happy New Year!

Betcha can't guess what one of my resolutions was.

Why, yes, that's right! This year (as with every year for the past 3 or 4 years, but why dwell on the past...), one of my resolutions is to blog more.

Let's take a moment to reflect on the fact that I did not say "blog well" or "blog worthwhile things". No. I simply intend to blog more. It's probably going to really suck for awhile. But, eventually, it'll all get figured out, and things will get deleted, and it will all get streamlined, and bloglife will be wonderful forevermore. Or, as will all previous years gone by, I'll start off with the best of intentions, but soon run out of things to say.

Anyway, what better way to kick off the new year than by sharing my complete list of resolutions? If for no other reason than the fact that it's fun (for you) to watch people (me) fail? So, without further adieu, here is the hasty list of resolutions that I dashed off around 11 o'clock last night:

Make monthly lists of goals to achieve. I tried this last year, too, and it actually stuck for 6 months or so. Not in the sense that I achieved the goals I set out to achieve, but in the sense that I did take the time to sit down and make the lists. One thing I learned from trying and failing with this in the past is that I shouldn't try to bite off more than I can chew. Dreaming up a dozen major goals to achieve in the course of a month is kind of setting yourself up for a fall, yannow?

Commit to going back to school (full or part time). Thirty-one is too old to still be thinking about what I want to be when I grow up.

Get started on writing/drawing the comic I've been daydreaming about for the past four years. What's held me back in the past is the fact that I can't draw, but in reality, nobody is ever going to see this thing but my family and my friends anyway, so who cares?

Weekly songs challenge - learn a new song on guitar or ukulele every week, and record myself performing it and upload to YouTube or other social media. Yeah, I know myself pretty well, and this probably isn't going to happen. But a girl can dream.

Blog - minimum once a week; try to do more posts with each successive month until blogging becomes second nature. Pretty self-explanatory, that.

Get comfortable with leaving the dog on her own in the apartment. Because at this point, my separation anxiety is way worse than hers has ever been.

40 books challenge. I tried to do a 40 books challenge in 2012, but only made it to 28 or so. This is my year, dammit!

Finish at least one iTunes U course all the way through. Guys. You guys. Do you ever stop to just think about the fact that we live in a world where you can access quality post-secondary education for free via the glorious, glorious internet? I have so many courses queued up in iTunes, and yet, I never get around to actually listening to the lectures. Or, if I do, I abandon the course after four or five classes, and it's not for lack of interest. It's more for a lack of a schedule, and a lack of exams, and a lack of consequences for not completing the program the whole way through. This year, I intend to get through at least one class in its entirety.

Host more events at our place (aim for once a month). Because being an anti-social hermit gets old.

Learn to cook 3 things really, really well (baking doesn't count; has to be a legit meal or at least a passable entrée [soup totally counts]). This is another goal that is particularly, uhm... aspirational for me.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE IN THE WORLD, SPEND LESS TIME ONLINE. Sorry to yell that at you, but I'm trying to preserve the integrity of my list in its original form here... and it probably bears a strong delivery, anyway. I fall down way too many internet rabbit holes for my own good.

Write 2 letters (or cards) every month. Because I am quaint as all get out.

Write in my physical, actual, tangible journal at least three times a week. Because I am a fifteen year old girl at heart.

Grow up a bit. Make sure chores like dishes, garbage, and cleaning the fish bowl are getting done on a regular basis. Because I am the person who has to make a New Year's resolution out of basic life skills.

Try to use up some of your use-uppable stuff (makeup, craft supplies, etc.) before buying more.  Because I am perilously close to being a legitimate hoarder, and I swear, the next time we move, if I have to pack up eighteen boxes of makeup and perfume and yarn and scrapbook paper again, I'm liable to just set it on fire.

And the one resolution I'm not making? To lose weight, in any increment, or that generic statement of "getting healthier". Because, boring.